Hollywood ignores male abuse: Let's change that

1 in 6 men will be a victim of domestic abuse in their lifetime, and yet film producers would have you believe that this is hilarious

1 in 3 victims of domestic abuse are men | photo credit: Tenielle Jordison

It’s 2022, and while our acceptance of mental health and domestic abuse might be rising, the culture of ‘man-ups’, ‘grow a pairs’ and ‘simps’ is far from gone. Today, we like to watch films where we see ourselves, whether that’s our background represented, or our personality traits given justice. But imagine if you saw the traits of your abuser, or even worse, the traits of your abuse presented as a joke.

Representing this kind of abuse will not take away from other causes

Unfortunately this is something that is not uncommon in film and TV relationships. In many films space has been given to directors to tackle the often traumatic consequences of domestic abuse, yet in all that time, very little has been said about the male victims of this.

One in three victims of domestic abuse are male, but if you were to look at Hollywood’s representation of this it would be a hard statistic to believe. That is not to say that the film industry does not give due attention to the many injustices and problems faced my men. 2016’s Moonlight is an exemplary model for the exploration of abuse based on race, class and sexuality. But if you were to look for instances of male abuse by a female partner, the few you’d find would most likely be in a comedy setting.

The worst culprit of this is 2005’s Wedding Crashers, a film that follows two males divorce mediators who use weddings as a place to find women. Problematic in concept yes, but much more problematic in execution. In one scene Vince Vaughn’s character Jeremy, is tied up and raped in the night by Isla Fisher’s character Gloria. To any filmmaker with an acute sense of awareness and tone, this should have been a major turning point in the film’s subject matter. Instead it is laughed off as a treat for the character.

You may say that 2005 was a completely different cinematic experience, where sexist and Trans jokes were sprinkled in everywhere, and unfortunately you would be right. But even as recently as last year the film industry was bringing us male abuse without dwelling on its severity. Netflix’s record breaking series Bridgerton was praised for its vivid imagery and all-round casting, and yet it delivered us a male rape scene disguised as justice for the character of Daphne. Because her husband the Duke (played by Regé-Jean Page) lied about being infertile, we are meant to support Daphne’s anger, yet forcing him to climax inside her is nonetheless a form of rape and was not a necessary scene to include.

To any filmmaker with an acute sense of awareness and tone, this should have been a major turning point

Bridgerton is also just the start as many more shows in the TV and sitcom world are ignorant of such an important topic. Glee, although not exactly a paragon of good relationships, answers a male characters sexual abuse claims with ‘you’re so lucky’. Friends, although again often inclined to toxicity, has the episode ‘The one with the girl who hits Joey’. In this episode Joey’s current girlfriend constantly hits Joey with a series of playful punches and even though Joey protests to his friends that ‘she keeps punching me’ they only laugh it off with ‘she’s so cute’. Finally we have Married at first sight, the reality show that doesn’t exactly feature the best and brightest, but that in particular last year showcased Nikita Jasmine, a woman who was verbally abusive to crew, fellow cast-members and her on-screen husband until she was kicked off.

Giving air-time to characters and representations such as these only contributes to the cycle of shame and humiliation surrounding male abuse. It is bad enough that many are dismissed for it by those who deem it ‘unmanly’, but to have it normalised and presented in film will only add to the stigma. Representing this kind of abuse will not take away from other causes; it will not hurt the representation of women, nor will it make on-screen men seem ‘weak’, what it will do is give breath to those who have experienced it and a chance to know that their trauma is not singular to them. It will make the film industry more of a safe space to those who know that what they have gone through is nothing to be ashamed of.